WedFeb252009
I have to admit that Ash Wednesday is not exactly my favorite holiday. I tend to associate it with memories of looking for all my faults, and figuring our which ones to work on. Then I would have the feeling that no matter what I gave up for Lent, it was never quite a big enough sacrifice. But because tonight I’m in charge – I really wanted to give a different focus to this evening.
I was visiting my parents when my mother showed me the newsletter for Lent from the church she attends. The front of it told a story about a cattle farmer. He said that what he would do on Ash Wednesday is dump a bucket of ashes on the cows…”
Now, this was not a fanatic who thought the cows needed the imposition of ashes for any kind of spiritual reason. Rather, it was an effective way to get rid of lice. Now I’m not suggesting that our focus become a massive delicing. But I do like the thought of ashes being a mode of cleansing.
We usually don’t associate ashes with cleanliness. In fact, just the opposite it true. When we see ashes, we think dirt. Yet ashes have a history of use for cleaning. In earlier times, they were used in making soap. Based on this principal, today some hardier campers use ashes mixed with the grease in their pans in place of soap when washing their cookware.
There is a tradition of Ash Wednesday as a time of repentance, of asking God to cleanse us from our sins. The prayer “Create in me a clean heart, O God” puts this desire into words. But what does is mean to desire a “clean heart?” I love the image that the writer Brenda Ueland in her book “Strength to your Sword Arm” uses. Here is how she describes our center, our heart: She says, “There is in all of us a little, creative fountain. It is the Spirit, or the imagination – Or the source of love, whatever you want to call it. If you are very tired, strained, have no solitude, run too many errands, talk to too many people, drink too many cocktails, this little fountain is muddied over and covered with a lot of debris. The result is you stop living from the center, from the Spiritual fountain, and you live from the periphery, from externals.”
I’d like to focus on the image of this fountain within, then, as a way to enter the Lenten season. The cleansing then becomes the cleaning out of this inner fountain. Picture this fountain within you, its water flowing through your body, circulating through all its parts. When it is clear and clean, all systems work well. Your eyes are not clouded, so you will see more clearly and recognize the gifts God places in your life. They are able to see the face of God in the eyes of the people you encounter. Your ears are not clogged so you hear more clearly God’s voice. You are able to feel more tangible the touch of God and your mind will be more clear to recognize the wisdom of God.
However, when we allow the distractions and debris into our lives to muddy the fountain within, then we still operate, we still live, but that grace of God within us cannot circulate as well. The debris in our lives clog the fountain from flowing freely, and the muddiness keeps it from running clearly.
A few Sundays ago, I heard with new ears the story of the Leper that Jesus healed. The Jewish law commanded lepers to shout “unclean, unclean” when others approached them. They were required to keep others away from them and were disconnected from human community because of their uncleanliness.
Fortunately for us, when our inner font is “unclean”, we are not required to shout to keep others away. Yet even without our shouting, without the outward visible sores that marked the lepers as unclean, there are ways that others observe this condition. There are certain symptoms of the unclean inner fountain that manifest themselves in our behaviors. We begin to take everything personally, exhibit a restlessness, a vague irritability and general discontentedness. We find that we lack gratitude and a sense of humor, and fail to live in the present moment. We make quick judgments and feel the need to have an opinion about everything. Often this uncleanliness of the inner fountain shows up as an excessive desire to shop, to watch TV, to eat or drink. So while we don’t shout – unclean, unclean, there are other ways our own behavior shouts – Stay away, stay away!
I see Ash Wednesday as an opportunity first of all to acknowledge that we have this inner fountain, and secondly, as a chance get it flowing freely. The ashes we receive tonight then might represent for us a desire to both clean and clear out the inner fountain.
Using the image of the font within, the first step is to realize that what is at our center and flows through us is God’s love and grace. This is what we want to be feeding our lives, to be the source of our thoughts, decisions and actions. Yet often we are not aware that we have lost this connection, that it is not a clear connection. It is like a bad phone connection where you think you know what the other person said, but it turns out you totally misunderstood.
We cannot make this clear connection with God unless we make time and room for God in our lives. There are different ways that work for different people. For some it is through nature, for some through walking. For others its journaling, the arts, or maybe a Bible study. Whatever the means, if it connects you with God, it is a form of prayer. Thomas Merton said, "Prayer is the hospitality of the soul entertaining the most high." When we receive an honored guest, we take time to prepare and time to listen. The more we listen and connect with God, the more the murkiness of the water in our inner fountain clears up. The murkiness inhibits us from seeing the way God wants us to see, from hearing God’s voice over the noise of our outside world. It makes it difficult for us to know and discern God’s will if our minds are clouded with our own desires and ways of thinking. Perhaps this evening is a call to you to set aside some time during Lent to intentionally listen to God. There will be opportunities through the Lenten Soup suppers on Wednesday evenings, or the brown bag lunches on Friday afternoons to delve into God’s word and hear how it speaks to you. Or perhaps just making a commitment to spending a few minutes in prayer each day will deepen your Lenten journey, and begin to clean the fount inside. Prayer is in fact, one of the traditional disciplines of the Lenten season.
That inner fountain can be marred not only by muddy, unclear waters, but also by debris. Fountains that are clogged with sticks, stones, leaves for example, do not flow freely. They sputter, they slow. So what are the debris that need to be cleared out of our inner fountains? It is probably different for all of us. Maybe for some it might be the rocks of unforgiveness or grudges. For others, it is all the little stones of busyness, of time-wasters, of endless thoughts. Or perhaps it is the pebbles of judgment of others, and or ourselves, that clog our thinking and take over our minds. Or it can be those boulders of worry and anxiety about our health, our financial situations, our relationships. If we are aware of these rocks, we can then begin to clear them out of our fountains.
Fasting, the second Lenten discipline, will help to clear out the debris. I don’t necessarily mean fasting in the traditional sense, of giving up sweets, TV, cell phones, etc. (Although this might not be a bad idea!). But I am referring to a fast from busyness, from judgments of others, from grudges or time-wasting activities, from worry and fear. Fasting is not about making a sacrifice for the sake of suffering. I see it as a way to make a stronger connection with God, which in fact eases our suffering.
Clearing out those things which get in the way of our relationship to God will allow the water in the fountain to flow to all parts of our lives and then to stream out of ourselves into the world. We then realize that all of us are all nourished by the same fount, the fount of God’s love. This is the well spring which feeds our souls. And so we are connected through this spring not only to God, but also to each other.
The third Lenten discipline of almsgiving then flows naturally from the other two, prayer and fasting. If prayer and fasting enable the fountain to flow, then almsgiving is a result of that flow of love. Almsgiving in its traditional sense means being generous with our monetary resources. But it can be the sharing of our time and our presence. When we experience the flowing of God’s love within us, the connectedness we share with others, then we will be motivated from inside to give, to be compassionate, to help others along the way.
This then is the call of Ash Wednesday - to clean and declutter that inner fountain. As we move towards this, we will see changes in our outward behavior. We will think and act spontaneously, be able to enjoy the present moment, be less judgmental, less interested in conflict. Our worries and anxieties will lessen as we begin to accept those things we cannot change. We begin to live in gratitude and appreciation of that which we do have.
Tonight as you receive ashes, you will hear the words “Repent and believe the Good news.” Our call to repentance is a desire to change, to deepen our connection with God, and live from that center. Our Good news is that God’s grace makes it possible. May our receiving of ashes be an outward sign of our inner desire to let God’s love flow clearly and freely in our lives.