Shortcuts and Solutions
Scripture: Mark 2:18-28
How did pastors write sermons before the internet? Obviously, before the World Wide Web, sermons were below par and left much to be desired. Why, in those days ministers had to actually study and go to the library for good illustrations and material to enhance and support the themes and topics upon which they preached. I’ll bet ministers had to listen to other people’s stories for good illustrations and had to actually talk to people for poignant interactions and relevant material for the benefit of the sermon listener. I imagine it was a nightmare and that preparing a sermon actually might have taken lots of time and mental energy.
Today, of course, the modern minister can log onto a sermon service – which are either free or for pay, but very handy. The informed, tech-savvy man or woman of God can do delightful cut and paste options to create the perfect homily for parishioners. There is also the special blessing of pre-written sermons that can be purchased, and many even follow the lectionary. Yes, we all benefit from the internet when we let the Holy Spirit move our fingers across the keyboard and trust Jesus to move our mouse.
Remember when move your mouse was a statement as to where to place your rodent when your rodent was out of place? Today, of course, we refer to that oblong thingy that moves our cursor across the screen of our monitor.
To prepare for this sermon I spent some time on the web myself, surfing, as the saying goes, although I kept completely dry in my surfing, and never left the state for the big waves. I was looking for just the right lead in to my sermon on the words of Jesus we just heard. Jesus seems to me to be talking about taking shortcuts and the right way to understand solutions. We’ll get to that in more detail in a moment, but I must first mention that online I learned that George Burns once noted that, “The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.” So I kept that in mind as I prepared this message.
In terms of wisdom and meaningful pondering, I found these helpful thoughts online. These were various solutions and shortcuts, which is the theme I see in the scripture lessons, taken from actual airline announcements:
• United Flight Attendant announced, 'People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!
• On landing, the stewardess said, 'Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have.
• An airline pilot wrote in a report that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a 'Thanks for flying our airline.' He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane.
She said, 'Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?'
'Why, no, Ma'am,' said the pilot. 'What is it?'
The little old lady said, 'Did we land, or were we shot down?'
• Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: 'We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.'
• 'Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments.'
• Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City … The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, 'That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt.'
• After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix , the attendant came on with, 'Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.'
How else would we be granted such witty and wise summation of the flying experience if not for the blessing of the internet?
I found other beneficial astute and perceptive thoughts as I considered the idea of aging, something we are all interested in. Here is some wisdom:
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied. 'Two years older than me' 'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented. She responded, 'I know, hardly seems worth going home, does it?
Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: 'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked.
She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'
I learned that the nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.
One lady reported: I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.
My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.
THE SENILITY PRAYER :
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
So goes the wisdom of the elderly as found on the internet.
By the way, all three of your Federated pastors write their own sermons. I have been known to use an internet joke or fifteen, as I suspect my colleagues may do as well, but we ain’t preaching what someone else wrote. Which may explain a lot! After hearing this sermon, you may prefer that I look into a subscription service! “Go ahead Mark, it’s a great idea!”
In his day Jesus was pretty snappy and quick with a clever retort when a point needed to be made about God and the way God wishes thing to be. To us, reading the Bible 2000 years later, the response Jesus gave to those seeking to trip Jesus up concerning tax money seems pretty strange. Sadly, we tend to read the account with modern eyes, and miss Christ’s sarcasm and silliness.
“Jesus, you and your disciples don’t seem to care about the taxes that Caesar requires. Why don’t you pay them?” To this question, Jesus tells his disciples to go fishing, catch a fish, clean it and dig out the coin that will be found in the stomach. OK, they do and they come up with a coin. Now that is just cool. A real statement for why people should fish more. Then Jesus tells them to look at the image minted on the coin – it was Caesar’s image. And Jesus told them to render, or to give, to Caesar that which was Caesar’s and to give to God that which was God’s. So, he’s saying the money goes to the ruler of this world, but our lives go to God, our creator and the lover of our souls. To us, this sounds deeply spiritual, insightful and relevant. But really, it’s all a big joke upon those who try to make Jesus stumble. It’s hilarious. In fact, it makes me wonder if Jesus invented the internet.
In our Gospel lesson today, Jesus is expounding on one of the concepts of the Kingdom or Dominion of God – the place where God is fully in charge and in control. Jesus is reminding his disciples in this parable of new and old things, helping them to understand that often the two do not mix. Not only that, they may sometimes oppose each other. Here is what Jesus tells the disciples as the conclusion to the fasting argument:
"No one sews a patch of unshrunk cloth over a hole in an old coat. Otherwise, the patch will shrink and pull away—the new patch will pull away from the old coat. Then the hole will be worse. Also, no one ever pours new wine into old leather wineskin bags. Otherwise, the new wine will break the bags, and the wine will be ruined along with the bags. But new wine should be put into new leather bags."
This portion of scripture has puzzled many, and is frequently used to condemn any group, institution or program that seems to be resisting whatever change that some may wish. In my church in Ravenna, some of the more prominent young members left the church citing this verse and using it to condemn the church for not doing all the things they thought should be going on. They said they were going to seek out a church that was interested in the new things God was doing. They wanted renewal and change and all the rest, and they said it could only come by ridding the church of the old ways and letting the Holy Spirit enlighten the church to the new ways.
At it heart, I pretty much agree with the basics of what these young believers, so on fire for God, so sincere in their faith, so passionate, were saying. However, the rub came when was time to decide which things needed to be changed and which things were pretty good. Anything on the list of complaints the group had written up was good, and any other input, conversation or challenge was not so good. They were the new wine and everyone else was the old wineskins.
So they left the church, en mass, seeking the church that would become the church they envisioned. And to a person, those dozen or so people are still not active in any church – all of them sit at home on Sunday morning – their supposed new wine, new ways and new revelation souring and turning to vinegar.
I don’t think that this is what Jesus meant. I think Jesus is avoiding any reference to any institution or church, and speaking to the hearts of individuals – to you and me. As the discourse begins with a reference to fasting, which is an individual practice, not a corporate one, I see Jesus answering to each questioner, not to the Pharisees as a group. He talks of the celebration of a wedding, pointing out that we don’t mourn when it is time to celebrate. A marriage is a new life covenant; two are committing to walk life together in a new relationship. Jesus in essence is saying; don’t be silly – party at the party because there is not cake and wine served to everyone after the party is over. Then it’s time for the stress and challenges of life. And he is speaking to each person, standing in their own sandals.
Jesus is saying, “Mark Simone – you cannot expect to mix the new life that you have in me, as a follower and believer, with all the mundane habits and self-enforced limitations and constrictions you impose upon yourself. You can’t be selfish and experience my freedom. You can’t be judgmental and condemning of others and walk in my acceptance and grace. Mark Simone, you can’t mix mud with milk and call it a mocha. The mud ruins the milk, just as a bad attitude takes the joy out of being a child of Christ.
Jesus is telling us that there are ramifications of the new life we have in Him. There are changes and expectations and blessings and new growth, but these wonders really cannot flourish when we try to layer them on top of the things in us that we are not proud of.
Jesus is telling the Pharisees that the grace he is teaching is incompatible with the legalism to the law that they insist upon. He offers, in another place in scripture the New Commandment. Here is Jesus explaining in John 13:34 – “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.”
In The Message translation it has a more conversational tone: "Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other."
If we apply what Jesus is teaching us in Mark chapter 2, we can surmise this conversation, “Listen Mark, the way that all those people out there in the rest of the world are going to know that things are new and different with you is if you love them the same way I love them. It is through love that people will not be surprised that you are a follower of me. When they see you and all the folks at Federated being loving and doing the work of love, they will be convinced that something wonderful is going on.
I am reading a book entitled, “They Like Jesus, but Not the Church,” by
Dan Kimball. Dan is a pastor of a large church in California who noticed that early in his ministry he was out in the community with the people, but as his church grew, he had less time for that and was tied to his desk every day, all day. He found that he was becoming complacent and insensitive, and he longed for the early days, as he was building the church, when he just hung out and talked to people. Sometimes it would turn to talking about faith, but mostly it was just about being part of a community. So Dan did the radical, and I believe that somehow he has heard of me and took this idea from me.
Dan called his staff together and explained that he was no longer going to be in the office five days a week working on church stuff. He committed to long days on Monday and Tuesday, and informed them that he could be reached on Wednesday and Thursday at the local coffee shops, where he would be reading, studying, writing his sermon and chillin’.
Ask any GROUP kid – I have been doing this for years and FINALLY someone has validated my work! Praise God! I spend hundreds of dollars every year, of my own mullah, taking kids, parents, church members, anyone, to coffee. My treat! Wanna go – call me. I have talked to parents about problems with their marriages and children. I have talked to teens about problems with their parents. I have strategized with pregnant girls how they were going to tell their parents they were pregnant. I have listened to the suicidal. I have prayed with loved ones who have lost a family member and planned funeral services. I have just come to know people from our church better – no agenda. I have counseled, consoled and cajoled. And this is why some on our staff call Starbucks my second office.
Now, I’m not shining the spot light on my slightly balding head to say how great or hip I am. But I am saying that for me, the new wine doesn’t work as well or all the time in my office as it does when I meet with people outside of the office. It is a new motif for our culture that is not in any way detrimental to our faith.
Dan Kimball found the same thing when he moved some office days to his favorite coffee shop. He found that in the community of the caffeinated, there was a different acceptance and trust. He has spoken to hundreds of people about God, Jesus, life, their impressions of church, and all the rest, in the small café tables where he met these people. And his insights are so very startling and relevant to the church world today that I can’t even begin to share the bulk of his findings with you or that pot roast in your oven will be charcoal. But the bottom line is simple – those not in a church or part of church culture think we, as Christians, are strange and insulated in our faith. They see us as judgmental, intolerant, and irrelevant. And Dan found out first hand that these assumptions are because we keep expecting them, the non-churched folks, to wander in here on a Sunday morning so we can let them know about Jesus and his love. That isn’t going to happen very often. The better model is to find ourselves in their realm, outside of these walls, and share with them why we come here on Sunday.
To close, let me share this with you. I was having dinner last night at a surprise birthday party in town, and found myself surrounded by people I did not know. To my left was a Methodist man, to my right, a Jewish man. Our talk was initially forced as we sought for something we could talk about. Finally, as always happens with men, one of the guys asked what we did. The Jewish man was in real estate, the Methodist man in school counseling. And when I was asked, I told them of my work here at Federated as a minister.
And off we went. My new Jewish friend had never talked faith with Christians and had a ton of questions. I know my Methodist friend has never explained his faith before, and did so with great joy – not as one-upsmanship, but as one answering questions. Soon the Jewish man was the one explaining his faith. I was asked about our church and South Africa and youth today. It was a love fest, from appetizer through dessert. It was three guys, talking with our mouths full, and getting to know the real person next to us. Farrah, Michael and Shaq were never mentioned. But God was quite prominently with us. And, as we shared together at that meal, and as I tore another piece of bread from the common loaf, and washed it down with a sip of wine, I had this feeling that I had been here before, sharing from another table, with a room full of friends who were completely different, and flawed, and precious, and wondrous. I was in a sort of union with these men. A “with union,” which is what the word communion literally means. And in our midst, a transformation was taking place as three goofy schmucks became important to each other. For us, the new wine was going into new wineskins, wineskins of our lives, which were being created on the spot as we all cast off the suspicions and the misconceptions that divided us as spiritual men. We found the roots of love and respect, and it was very, very cool.
Amen